Are Families Getting Worse?

Details of the murder of Logan Mwangi by his half brother, mother and step-father in Bridgend, Wales, provide a harrowing account of the ongoing cruelty that was inflicted on a 5 year old within his family. Family members were complicit in the abuse of Logan. This case is one of the most disturbing that I have ever come across and raises questions about social work practice in child protection. Families may be getting worse but the child protection system is not getting better. Social work intervention into the once private domain of family life can make parents very defensive and social workers can be easily deceived by outwardly cooperative parents. The relationship-based approach of social workers tends to put a higher premium on keeping families together than on taking protective action. Furthermore, there is often a tendency to underestimate the risk from individuals within the family with a history of disturbed and disturbing behaviour.

Over the past thirty years the Children Act 1989 has provided a sound framework for good child protection practice and the Social Services and Well-being (Wales) Act 2014 has put a stronger duty on social workers to carry out needs assessments and provide supportive services. However, during this period changes in some aspects of society are taking families in an increasingly dysfunctional direction and bringing more into the orbit of Children's Services. The gradual increase in the number of children being taken into care suggests that social workers are dealing with children at risk more effectively than in the past or, alternatively, it may mean that social workers struggle to get to grips with the complexities of contemporary family life and raise standards of parenting.

The concept of 'the family' is now caught between traditional beliefs and the reality of greater diversity in family patterns of living. Family structures are now incredibly varied and individuals have much more freedom of choice in aspects of their lives which would have been relatively constrained in the past - in their lifestyles, personal relationships and family arrangements. Tolstoy recognised that “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” (Anna Karenina). At that time the traditional family structure was taken for granted and the relationship between husband and wife was fundamentally unequal. There was a cultural acceptance of the desirability of marriage, commitment and traditional patterns of family life. Since then the nature of the family has completely changed. Marriage is less important and for those who choose marriage there is more recognition of the possibility of it breaking down. Today the happy family is one that provides good-enough parenting and facilitates the child's transition into adulthood to become an individual with a personal identity that is increasingly self-directed and authentic. The unhappy family is one where dysfunction can take many different forms.

During childhood and adolescence the idea of creating a family of one's own is a very common fantasy and for most of us more than a fantasy. Young people, as they go through adolescence and become more independent, often search for romantic love and for someone with whom they are matched sexually. Unfortunately, these two things do not always go together. Very often the inability to merge attachment and sexual yearnings perpetuates instability in the capacity to form an enduring love relationship. This problem is not uncommon and it is often only in later life that adults go on to find a 'mature' enduring relationship. It is not unusual for young adults to find themselves pushed prematurely into parenthood before they feel ready for it. However, most people come to terms with this new status and do their best to take on the responsibilities and emotional demands of parenthood.

In recent decades the family has been reduced in its function as most women are at work and different forms of family life have emerged. There is sometimes less emphasis on the stable home base as the place for the nurturing and socialising of children. Furthermore, some parents are happy to let other people give their children the practical care and education they need - though most parents genuinely want to offer their child a caring relationship. In recent years the major shift in the economic balance between parents has possibly affected their relationship and this can raise questions about what the other person is for and whether the couple relationship should continue. When a relationship breaks down single parenthood may be either a temporary or long-term experience. Step-parents are increasingly part of family life - both in the formal and informal sense. However, arrangements for the care of the children following parental separation can sometimes lead to lengthy and acrimonious legal disputes which can prevent children from moving on to a stable situation.

The rights and advocacy movements have worked to create a more equal society in which a wide range of socially acceptable patterns of family life are now seen. Homosexual love is now widely accepted as a satisfactory arrangement for the upbringing of children. Single parenthood is viewed as having the potential to provide children with the necessary nurturing and support they need. However, the advocacy industry now sometimes appears to work against biological science and gives some children the illusion they can change gender.

Obviously the family plays an important part in the education of children but increasingly families have been encouraged to believe that education takes place in schools and is provided by teachers and other professionals appropriately trained in meeting children's developmental needs. However, many parents recognise the limitations of formal education and know that learning that takes place informally within the family is equally important for children. A small minority of parents decide to home educate their children. This can be very appropriate for certain children and for any child whose parents feel equipped to do this.

Sometimes parents who were not well parented themselves have unresolved issues that seriously affect their ability to provide a safe environment for their child. These children may feel uncertain about whether their parents love them and often find life unpredictable and stressful. Children with unsatisfactory attachments within their families may increasingly seek out their peers, on social media or the streets, for the recognition and support they need - particularly during adolescence. Obviously, the extended family can give vital support to parents and children but there is often complexity in the meaning and significance of these relationships.

Studies of the precise nature of early attachment difficulties are useful for understanding experiences that can cause stress to children and put them at risk of developing emotional and behavioural problems. Research into children aged 4-7 on how parenting style is related to the child's behaviour confirms the commonly held view that there is an association between negative parenting styles and the development of a child's antisocial behaviour here. This link remained true even after a range of socio-economic factors were taken into account.

Social workers should recognise when essential aspects of family life have possibly been left out and do their best to offer a range of interventions to provide compensatory parenting and ensure children's safety. A parent-based assessment which gives paramount consideration to the welfare of the child may be necessary and this process can give parents an opportunity to reflect on their difficulties and the possibility of change. However, a highly dysfunctional family that is incapable of entering into work of this kind presents serious ethical dilemmas. The evidence that parents are failing to meet their children's needs and putting them at risk of significant harm usually points to the need for the use of more coercive measures. Social workers have compulsory powers and, although this presents dilemmas for those of us with a commitment to social justice, it is right for social workers to exercise controls over certain people. Some academics who are politically active are against the control function of social work and as a consequence some newly qualified social workers feel uncertain about the use of authority when working with a family where a child is suffering significant harm.

It is in the interests of both government and society that families with children receive the services they need to parent their children well. Despite all the rhetoric of family support services, in reality there are considerable difficulties for children's social workers in engaging parents in constructive work to raise standards of parenting. Families living in poverty may put the blame on government for their poverty but many decent working class people recognise that with parenthood goes personal responsibilities. I have found that the best children's social workers are those with a sense of vocation and who have thought very carefully about whether they are suited to the job. If families really are getting worse the need for good social workers is now more important than ever.

Hilary Searing

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